Nessie in the News
The Loch Ness Monster...or something...has surfaced in recent drone footage.
Howdy Horn Honkers!
What does it say about the world we currently live in that the Loch Ness Monster was captured on drone footage and it barely made a blip in the news?
One of the world’s most famous cryptids and we’re paying it dust.
Do y’all in the USA want to argue over the debt ceiling…or do you want to see 24-hour cable coverage of a famous blobby (but attenuated in places) water thing?
Water thing! Water thing!
So here’s the story: lads are out on a several-day, charity-oriented paddling/fishing trip in the loch. Filming each day what they saw, caught, their safety eqiupment, fishing-things this, paddling-stuff that. They also took some drone footage of the loch and themselves boating to weave into a 17-minute video chronicling their jaunt.
The video is sweet but about as exciting as watching the paint on the debt ceiling dry.
But about four minutes in, there’s a lovely drone shot of the loch. Beautiful. If you pay attention you can juuuust see something starting to surface. 
Hard to tell what it is but...something. If you clip the footage and lighten the shadow, like they did (see below) behold what you see.
So what is this thing? A tree? Flotsam? Sunken boat bits? An aquatic dinosaur?
Nessie, where ya been for so long?
Girl, the world has changed since we last saw ye.
You're gonna have to shoot out of the water like a Bezos rocket with Elvis riding you like prize bull in order to get any attention these days.
For those wondering, I actually have no idea if Nessie is real or not. But I know the debt ceiling isn't. Please name another country that has one. They are rarer than a sighting of Nessie. And there's a reason for that, economists say. It actually makes very little sense.
So today I bring you something that makes more sense. The Loch Ness Monster.
This is where we are in 2021, friends.
Water things! Water things!