Life Lessons #1

Learning how to navigate life is not sexy, but it's important.

Y’all.

Everything being equal I’d rather have started a new life 30 years and not now. Not at this age or time. But I didn’t get that choice. So I’m starting now. Many of you know why.

As I get older I realize more and more about the conflicted imperfections of the planet and the people who walk it. I’m an observer by nature and I have now observed enough to amuse and alarm me for several lifetimes.

I include my own less-than-perfect, but wildly hopeful self in this realization.

Some of what I saw for decades as physical imperfections I’ve tried like hell to “fix” (you hear me, ladies and some gents) until I realized those imperfections were simply me…and by the way, who decided they were imperfections? Usually someone who wanted to make money or gain power off any natural insecurities I had, or to create an insecurity I didn’t have before.

To be someone else other than me was a tall order for a short girl. And these days I soundly reject it.

Truth is that curvy, mouthy, silly, smart, sometimes-shy, sometimes loudmouth Therra will always have strengths and weaknesses.

I don’t need to be “fixed.”

I only need to do better tomorrow than I did yesterday.

And only I have control over that.

What else?

I’ve learned most of us are just one phone call away from falling to our knees.

I’ve learned that the only one-size-fits-all gift is kindness. Kindness creates its own currency. The more you give away, the more you have.

I’ve learned that your true friends will go to lengths to save you, should you need it, and you will do the same for them.

I’ve learned we will make mistakes. Sometimes we repeat them. You likely won’t know how to stop those mistakes until you realize why you’re making them. The “why” often falls into three broad categories: fear, ignorance or denial.

I’ve learned people will hurt you and you will hurt them. Neither is okay. Neither is hurting yourself to help others. Neither is hurting others to fit your agenda, which is always, based in insecurity, manipulation and ego. (Yeah, I’m calling out the human race.)

I’ve learned that when people talk about you but not to you then they have something to hide, although they often refuse to realize it. It’s often something that is partially or patently untrue about you, but it feels better to judge than bother with the whole story. People often feel so good and right about holding wrong ideas about others. I’ve done it. You’ve done it. Stop it.

I’ve learned that honesty will save a lot of time and problems. Without honesty, there’s no viable map forward for your journey. Your life will always be filled with false destinations.

I’ve learned that you will do things you never thought you could, and some things you seriously never wanted to do at all. Kudos. I know what that takes.

We sometimes play a role in our own suffering. If you figure out what that is, you can do yourself a huge favour by halting that mess.

I’ve learned that bravery is simply not optional. Of all the things I was taught as a youngster (“Do well in school,” “Treat others the way you want to be treated”) what I didn’t know as a kiddo and had to find out — often the hard way, too often through trauma — was “Be brave.” You will never make it through this world without being brave. Furthermore, the spectrum of being brave can run from military service to simply making it through another day.

When I was a child, I believed in monsters.

As an adult, I found out they were real.

There are giants in our lands who will try to crush you. You must be brave when facing behemoths that take up space in your inner and outer world. Did you know you have the ability to fell giants? You actually do, my friends. Align with like-minded folks and watch that power and ability grow.

I also learned there are dragons inhabiting our world. They often try, and succeed, in doing incredible damage.

You must be a dragon slayer.

You can.

And now is the time.